Spiritual Emergency and Depression

I have been reading Spiritual Emergency from a number of authors edited by Stan Grof MD, and I’ve been thinking about the crisis I went through. I have also investigated personality types via the enneagram and found the symptoms I went through as normal for my type under stress. It makes me wonder whether depression is sometimes just the normal reaction of some people to stress – especially when it continues for years, like in my case. It is questionable, whether there is an organic cause. Bodily problems are more likely physical symptoms – the body screaming at my mind, so as to say.
I associate this with the spiritual crisis that accompanied my depression and find a myriad of questions going through my mind at that time. Since then I have started a tentative approach to Christianity in order to find the ground where I can stand spiritually. I had made the mistake of following the reasoning of laypeople who are more fundamentalist in their outlook. Since then I have been looking at what more informed people have to say and there are more people qualified nowadays, and they are available on YouTube too. This is where I found authors like Stan Grof, James K.A. Smith, Richard Rohr, and Andreas Ebert.
I have also been reading my way through Jörg Zink’s mystical books (Dornen können Rosen tragen, Unten dem großen Bogen), which are more Anthologies of mystical thought. I think it has been a grave mistake to underestimate our need for spirituality, and how the lack can lead to depression. I was also in the wrong job, as it turns out. I did my best, but throughout the years I have been struggling, frequently calling on abilities that I had learned, but which were not my inherent abilities. I had seen my job as a vocation, a calling, and perhaps it was the right thing to do up until a point. I had been advised by experts to take a therapeutic vocation, which was my intention, but it didn’t happen. Richard Rohr even said in his book, that many people with my enneagram type are monks, which should have rung a bell.
What I now have considered is, perhaps my depression wasn’t just my body screaming at my mind, but my soul yearning for spiritual guidance. Stress may have been just a catalyst for something more meaningful.

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